Parents Speak

The 'food issue' is no longer an issue at our house. My 2 1/2 year old daughter is even trying new foods and dinner time has become a pleasant time.

G.Z., Mother of 2 children, Middletown, NY

The contents of this workshop would never come to me naturally but as I learn from Aviva, I feel this should be the 'natural' way to handle things. A large STEP for an arrogant male.

R.P., Father of 4, Airmont, NY

After listening to your tapes and attending your class last year, I am a firm believer in STEP. In fact, it has changed my life. I thought you might enjoy this picture. My niece and my son were arguing over who could wear the boots. I told them that I had confidence they could work it out, and as you can see, they did!

Thanks for all of your hard work,

S.M., Mother of 3, Sloatsburg, NY

My children are 10 and 16 and we really talk to each other now and share how we are solving our own difficulties. There's more celebration, less struggle (and it works on your boss too).

K.A., Mother of 2 children, Woodbourne, NY

Everyone seems to complain that kids/young adults today do not have a good work ethic and they're used to getting everything they want. This course offers concrete steps to help you raise responsible, caring children.

L.C., Mother of 2 children, Ridgewood, NJ

Our family is much happier since I started taking STEP - the yelling, arguing, whining and punishing has been reduced dramatically.

P.W., Father of three, South Nyack, NY

Each time I encounter a parent with great kids, I hear the same thing: 'I took this class called STEP.'

S.P., Mother of 2 children, Highland Mills, NY

Using STEP has virtually eliminated tantrums and greatly reduced the stress I feel when my kids misbehave. It was well worth the hour drive to class every week!

J.R., Mother of 3 children, Warren, NJ

STEP has helped me become a more calm and effective parent. Or house is becoming a nicer place. (No yelling from parents anymore!)

W.B., Mother of twins, Haworth, NJ

I've noticed a marked change in the amount I yell...virtually never!

S.M., Mother of one child, Mahwah, NJ

Since taking STEP, I feel that I yell and bribe less. I am more conscious about the way I respond to my children's behavior. I 'lose my cool' less and less and feel more in control of my emotions and reactions. Parenting is becoming more fun and less stressful!

S.W., Mother of 2 children, Washingtonville, NY

STEP has made a huge difference to our entire family! My children love it even more than I do. We are resolving conflicts in a positive and respectful way. STEP has made our home a nicer place to be for us all.

J.T., Father of two, Tappan, NY

STEP is the only parenting course of all I have taken that has given me practical tools for handling my anger so that I can be the parent I want to be. After years of therapy, I was horrified to find myself doing and saying things to my child that I had promised myself I would not do - behavior that reminded me of the inappropriate behavior of my parents. And what a relief that I don't have to analyze everything to work things out - I just have to plug in the I-message, empathy - the verbal tools I have learned from STEP. I truly believe the tools learned from this course can relieve so much of the horrors on our planet today.

G.M., Mother of 2, Campbell Hall, NY

My three teenage daughters are verbalizing their feelings, taking responsibility for themselves, have a loving respect for me, themselves and each other plus so much more since I've been applying the principles of STEP.

L.C., Mother of three, Southfields, NY

Thanks to STEP, I feel closer with my kids and look forward to being not just their mom, but real friends with them as they grow into adults.

H.N., Mother of three, Spring Valley, NY

STEP has really helped me have a good/better relationship with my children and husband. I haven't yelled in weeks and it feels good. I'm a lot happier.

D.M., Mother of two, Highland Mills, NY

This course has provided me with the tools to be an active parent rather than a reactive one. I was beginning to feel that my 5-year-old was controlling me -- now I have some concrete methods for keeping the communication open between us.

J.D., Father of one child, New City, NY

My middle son used to fight me on almost everything. Now after taking STEP classes I enjoy my son. I am working better with him. I think we both learned to understand and respect each other better. He is wonderful.

B.G., Mother of 3 children, Warwick, NY

I now have the loving relationship with my children I've always wanted.

J.G., Father of the same 3 children, Warwick, NY

Our family time together is filled with laughter and fun now, instead of tension and criticism.

K.N., Mother of 3, Hohokus, NJ

After taking this course, I am fighting 90% less with my kids and my husband. My husband says I am a changed woman.

C.M., Mother of triplets, New City, NY

Hi Aviva --

Just wanted you to see my best friends thanks to STEP!

Peace,

Alison B. (Alison decided to have a third child as a result of taking STEP.)

I have decided to be the line in the sand: abuse stops with me. STEP gave me the tools to raise my kids with respect.

P.H., Mother of three, Ridgewood, NJ

I feel much more capable of handling a myriad of situations with the children. Also helps me to control my impulse towards anger and authoritarian responses.

P.K., Father of two, Demarest, NJ

This is truly a visionary program with the potential to advance our culture to be more kind and compassionate.

S.R., Mother of 2, Harriman, NY

STEP offers a chance at a lifetime of friendship with responsible people who happen to be your kids.

B.V., Mother of three children, Warwick, NY

It was easier to manage my department of 200 people than to parent my two children. Thankfully, I found the training that helps me enjoy my children while still being in control.

C.S., Mother of 2 and Bank Vice President, Cornwall, NY

I was an angry, frustrated and overwhelmed mother. I knew plenty about what not to do, but not enough about what to do.

Through STEP I learned:

	how to ACT instead of REACT
	what to do when my sons fight with each other
	how to get them to pick up after themselves
	how to have them take on more responsibility so that I am doing less
	how to encourage my children without rewards

Thanks to STEP, I enjoy my children now.

B.W., Mother of two children, Tafton, PA

Dear Aviva,

I hope you are doing well. I was one of your students in 1997 and I want you to know that I talk about you often.

My daughters are now 10 and 14. They are such precious kids. I often tell my husband and children that the best money I ever spent was the money I used to take your course. I also remember that the first time I took your class, I could not pay, but you still invited me to attend. Needless to say, I took your class twice. I am forever indebted to you.

Also, I had a strained relationship with my mom before attending your course. Since I learned STEP, we get along very well.

Aviva, all the best to you and your family. I hope that you will continue to teach STEP for a very long time.

L.M., Orlando, FL (While taking STEP, L. began to tell both of her children "Thank you for being my daughter" every day.)

Several years ago, I embarked on a parenting course that has changed the direction of our family. I was a bit embarrassed to admit that after 10 years of being a parent, I was finally learning how to actually do it!! I had been parenting by heart and instinct - which was well-intentioned. But when I thought of all the post graduate hours I put into learning how to be a nurse practitioner, I assured myself that parenting was no different. I could speak about this course for hours. It has been a blessing beyond compare.

B.W., Mother of three children, Allendale, NJ

Dear Aviva,

I am going to miss coming out to Goshen from Newburgh every Wednesday, even though sitting in a chair for a couple hours at night isn’t my favorite activity. I really enjoyed the class. Your anecdotes about your own experiences with your sons and your ‘library kids’ and your former students’ kids were so helpful. Your passion about STEP really comes through and has been transferred to all of your students. I also really appreciated your non-judgmental attitude. Like it was OK to admit that we yelled and lost our tempers.

STEP has definitely made a difference in our lives---

	We no longer feel like we’re dragging our 5-year-old 'Kelly' through her morning routine. Now we all realize it’s her responsibility. It’s a work in progress, but weekday mornings are much more calm and pleasant in our home---Yay!
	Mealtimes are now without the frustration of trying to persuade Kelly to try foods or to eat a little more of her broccoli or chicken. She actually asked to try some of my chicken the other day, and just last night she asked to try some cucumber. It was hard to just say ‘OK, here you go’ instead of ‘WooHoo!! Hallelujah!’
	Homework used to be soooo frustrating. Kelly would spend so much energy trying to not do her homework—she’d flop face down on her little table, or fall off her chair and I was ready to go insane every afternoon. Sometimes it took an hour for her to do 5 minutes of actual homework. Now that she and I understand it’s her responsibility and not mine, she just does it and I no longer get that feeling like I want to throw up when it’s homework time!
	We are finding that our almost 3-year-old 'Alana' can do so many more things for herself than we were letting her. I think more and more as they grow up both girls will benefit from what we have learned.
	We use the ‘I messages’ with the kids as well as with each other. They really work.

Most of all thank you for helping us to enjoy our children and each other so much more. Please keep doing what you do.

Thank you, thank you, thank you,

M., D., K., & A.G., Newburgh, NY

I have been a mom for 12 years and for 12 years I have been "winging it" — not so well I might add. In 9 weeks, our family has improved, especially our youngest (five), who was formerly the head of household! We are all happier. I feel confident now that my children will learn to be responsible and respectful adults. And we are responsible, respectful parents too!

This is the manual that I wish I had gotten at the hospital before we left there with our first born (only, alas, I probably wouldn't have listened).

S.E., Mother of 3 children, Harrington Park, NJ